The emotional meaning of hunger in eating disorders

Hunger is often described as a simple biological signal, the body’s way of asking for fuel. But for many people, especially those navigating eating disorders, trauma, or long-term stress, hunger becomes anything but simple. It can feel confusing, frightening, or even shameful. The sensation of hunger, something natural and essential, may be ignored, resisted, or deeply misunderstood.

For some, hunger is not just a prompt to eat. It becomes a trigger. A reminder of need. A feeling that is tied not only to the body, but also to the nervous system and emotional history. In this sense, hunger is not just about food, it is about safety, control, and relationships. When someone has experienced emotional neglect, instability, or pressure to suppress their needs, hunger can be internalised as a threat: a sign of weakness, something to manage, or something to hide.

Many people I work with describe hunger as “too much”, too loud, too uncomfortable, too unsafe. It is often easier to avoid the sensation than to sit with the vulnerability it brings. For others, recognising hunger might feel impossible; years of overriding the body’s cues can lead to deep disconnection. You may not know when you are hungry or full. You may second-guess whether you are “allowed” to eat. And this uncertainty can reinforce shame, leaving you feeling even further away from your body’s wisdom.

But here is the truth: hunger is not the enemy. It is not a flaw or a failure. It is a signal, like any other emotional or physical cue, that your body is alive and asking to be cared for. Rebuilding a relationship with hunger is not about eating on schedule or learning nutrition facts (though those may help). It is about listening. It is about recognising that your body’s signals were never wrong - they were just silenced or misunderstood for a long time.

In therapy, we often begin by bringing curiosity back to hunger. What does it feel like? What memories or emotions come up when it appears? What meaning have you learned to attach to it? Over time, we gently challenge the old narratives that hunger is bad, selfish, or dangerous, and begin to rewrite them. Hunger becomes less of a threat and more of a guide. An invitation to reconnect with the part of you that knows how to care for yourself.

If hunger feels like a battlefield, know this: it is possible to make peace with it. Not all at once, and not perfectly. But step by step, with safety, support, and patience.