Relationships and trust
Today I would like to raise a subject about trust. 👥 Any relationship starts with testing each other and slowly feeling how much can you trust someone, whether it is a new friend, romantic or business partner.
With every communication, you open up a little more; you allow this other person to know you. Like that step by step, you gain each other trust where you can be yourself.
💔What happens when this trust gets broken and violated? The other person experiences shock and loss of the relationship.
Many thoughts rushing through the mind: "What happened?", "How could she/he?", "How could that happen to me?", "What is wrong with me?", "I hate her/him" and so on.
🔻The reality is that the person goes through a grieving process by stages:
1. Shock and denial
2. Pain and guilt
4. Depression, reflection, loneliness
It is not that linear. A person can go to the next stage and then get back again. Remember my rule: "Two steps forward, one step back."
♦️I suppose the main question: "Is it possible to restore the trust?" My answer would be, not in the same relationship. You can't get into the same river twice - the current changes the water all the time. Something probably was already broken before that shocking trust event.
Therefore you can't mend what is already broken .... but you can build a new one after the grief is done and with the mutual desire to create something new together, with the open-mindedness and ability to talk. ♥️
As one of my favourite psychotherapists, Esther Perel says, "We have two or three relationships in our adult lives. Some of us with the same person." 😉